this is my first post in PL, so I hope it turns out good.
ever since i was a young girl, i was so against sex. Tipo bang may mapag-usapang green e, off na ko sa usapan. As in sobrang iwas ako, nasasabihan akong kj.
but then, there was this summer vacation, we went to some place in tagaytay. I was 11, I think. SO kumain muna kami after a long ride.
I had a chance to borrow my older cousin’s cellphone. At that time, I don’t need a phone naman e. So excited naman ako kasi makakapaglaro ako ng games sa N97 niya. ‘Yun uso nun e.
But nung nakuha ko na ‘yung phone n’ya. Nagulat ako when I accidentally opened a video file. Mala-scandal ang dating ng nakita kong video!
I dunno nagkaroon ako ng mixed emotions. napasabik ako nung pinay sexy porn star. She was like masturbating e.
At that time, I still don’t have a clear picture of what masturbating is. I watched the video a couple more times, maybe para maalala ko kung pano, maybe dahil curious ako, or just plain guilty ako, i’m enjoying it.
Nagtagal siguro ng mga 20 minutes na pinaulit-ulit ko ‘yun. And I felt something down my pussy, parang naging wet s’ya… I didn’t understand what was happening. and I didn’t want to ask. So nanuod ako ng iba pang vids sa cp ng cousin ko para ‘di halata sa most recent ‘yung porni vid na napanuod ko.
After that, I kept on fantasizing how it feels… ‘yung paglaruin mo ung middle finger mo sa slit ng pussy mo after washing it w/ Lactacyd (sanitary purposes)…
And then, hindi ko na napansin, it has been hgabitual to me na i-rub up and down and circular ung finger sa pussy ko… Nagiging wet s’ya lalo… and ang sarap ng feeling… Parang nasasabik ako pero that time hindi ko talaga ma-explain ‘yung hinahanap ko.
Then as I grow older, nalaman ko through the internet what I was doing. Nung una, napahiya ako sa sarili ko, dahil may nabasa akong mga posts saying, “she’s doing herself, it’s really yucky and immoral.”
So for a time I stopped.
But it felt like drugs. Na hinanap-hanap ng katawan ko… Later on nung tinuloy ko na s’ya, I learned that caressing my nipples over my bra helps… ah.. katulad ngayon, while typing w/ my right hand, nsa kaliwang tits ko ‘yung kamay ko… God it was awesome…
sarap talaga… it sends a tingling sensation sa pussy ko… alam ko wet na wet na ‘yun e. Lalo na when I pinch my nipple as I finger my pussy…. Aghh… Heaven.
So usually ginagwa ko, I put pressure over my clit.Circular motion mabagal na mabilis then mabagal ulit… May rhythm kumbaga… ansarap kaya!
Pero wala pa ring tatalo nung first time kung sinubukan ipasok sa butas ung middle finger ko… syempre, w/ imaginations involved, I thought of my crush. pero sa hindi bastos na paraan na para bang libog lang. I just imagined his face…
dun ko na rin na-discover ung mag-cum, big time. Before kasi pag nag-O ako, super O lang kasi clitorical O. Pero pucha, iba pala ung vaginal O. ansarap na, mas mahaba pa!!
nakakapagod magpaligaya sa sarili pero put@ng!na. ansarap talaga! napapaisip nga ako… y don’t others learn this part of me? well, fear of rejection siguro.
I still despise myself, pero pag tinatamaan ako ng init, i give in.. sarap e!